Christmas joys and woes

We're still not home from our Christmas travels, but I find myself alone in house with my sleeping child. Time to post!! We've had an eventful week or so. We headed to visit my family in Ohio on Wednesday the 22nd. We had great travel and the weather cooperated. Once we arrived, we ate dinner and I went with my sister, Abby, and mom to get a pedicure as part of my Christmas present. It was a nice "girls night out" that we rarely have the opportunity to enjoy.

The following day my sister and I ran to the next big town to pick up a last minute gift and then we were going to finish the grocery shopping. We left Kate and my two nieces with their fathers. On our way to the store, my phone rings. I answer the phone to hear Kraig say, "She's okay, but I just wanted you to know that Kate fell and she bled for a little while." He went on to explain that she had tripped going from one room to the next, and she must have bit her lip in the process. He handled the whole situations surprisingly well, especially considering that she had never bled before. Crisis handled.

We got to the store we needed to and picked out the gift. In and out in 15 minutes. Pretty good. We decided to stop at Taco Bell for lunch, as we frequently used to do when we would shop there with our mom. We went into Taco Bell and my phone rang just as I was ordering my food. It was Kraig again. "It has nothing to do with the kids," he says, "but you're never going to leave us alone again." My brother-in-law, Nick, had gone out to start our car so they could take the kids down to my mom's house for lunch, and somehow the keys managed to get locked inside the car while the car was running. We tried to use the car remote through the phone to unlock the car, but it did not work. I changed our order from "here" to "to go," and we headed back home. By the time we got back, the car had been running for nearly an hour, but we saved the day. Abby and I headed back to town to finish our shopping.

The next day was Christmas Eve. Kate developed a fever that afternoon, and she was up not feeling well most of the night. She had no other symptoms but being cranky and feverish, but she was most definitely out-of-sorts. Her fever reached 103 degrees in the middle of the night, and we headed to the ER around 8:30 Christmas morning. We were in and out relatively quickly. Fortunately, the doctor found no signs of infection or anything. He ruled it a virus, and we went home to open presents. The rest of our stay with my family was pretty miserable because she was feeling awful and not sleeping well. Lots of fun!!

Sunday morning, we headed to Pennsylvania to visit Kraig's family and Kate still had a fever. She slept more of the trip than she has ever slept in a car, so we were grateful for that. Sunday night we opened presents here and she seemed to be in a little better spirits, but she still had a fever. Monday she was still pretty miserable, but she seemed to perk up in the evening. This morning she woke up about an hour before she normally does and Kraig offered to take her so I could get a little extra rest. Praise the Lord! Her fever seems to be gone and she ate mass amounts of food at breakfast time. She's also taking decent naps today, so it seems like the virus must have run it's course. Not great timing for a sickness, but I'm glad she's doing better. She's wearing me out!!

In other news, a guy from our church who has been waiting on a heart transplant for a long time finally got one on Christmas day. The surgery went very well, but afterwards things got a little sticky. They had to go back in and explore things, but he seems to be doing better now. He and his family, the Flynns, could definitely use your prayers.

I also have a sweet friend from college who is on hospital bed rest with her twin boys right now. One of the baby's water broke on Thursday and they're keeping her in the hospital until it's safe for them to be delivered or until they have to deliver them. The baby's are almost 29 weeks at this point, but they are much to small to leave their Mommy right now. Please pray for her and her family. She has a toddler at home, as well, and their hospital is a good distance from where they live. Pray for the strength of the babies, that they would mature quickly and be able to be born healthy. Pray that they are able to stay in for the next eight weeks that they're hoping for. Pray that no infections develop and that she not go into labor on her own. Pray for her husband as he juggles work, master's classes, a toddler and being away from his wife. Pray for her, too. For her strength, mentally, physically, emotionally and spiritually to get through this trying time. Pray that the doctors would make the best decisions for everyone involved. It's a scary situation, but it's nothing God can't handle!! I wish I could do more than pray, but I'm glad if there is one thing I can do it's plead to God for them!

It's almost time!!

We're headed to Ohio on Tuesday to spend a few days with my family. We haven't seen my parents since July, so it's about time! I'm excited to spend time with them and to get away for a few days. We'll stay with them until the day after Christmas, and then we're headed to Pennsylvania. We're praying for safe travel and good weather. It'll be fun, especially since none of them have gotten to see Kate walk yet. That's right, she's walking! She's been experimenting for a few weeks, but Tuesday she took off and hasn't stopped! I know she's a late bloomer, but we're so proud!!

I'm so excited for Christmas, spending time with family and for seeing Kate enjoy all the festivities. I love Christmas, and I'm so thankful that God gave us such a special holiday time to remember his gift of Jesus. What a gift that is!!

I wish you all a Merry Christmas and Happy New Year. I pray that you'll all be blessed by the season and remember it's true meaning!

TV shows we love

We watch too much television, for sure. There are some shows out there that we just love and I wanted to share those with you to make sure you're not missing them! I'll just mention our newest favorites and leave out the oldies like Grey's Anatomy.

The newest show we love is Mike & Molly, which airs on Monday nights on CBS. Mike is Billy Gardell, who has been in a number of shows like My Name is Earl and Yes, Dear. Molly is the fabulous Melissa McCarthy (Aka Sookie from Gilmore Girls). It's a comedy based on two overweight people who meet at an over-eater anonymous meeting. Sounds lame, but it's hysterical.

On Tuesdays, we watch Parenthood. We LOVE Parenthood, which airs on ABC. It's an hour long, family comedy/drama that has lots of recoginzable cast members such as Lauren Graham and Craig T. Nelson. The show is about a family of four siblings and all of their individual families. It deals with a lot of topics like teenage drama, love, marriage, parenting and family, but I especially love the grandson that they've recently discovered has Asperger's (a form of autism). I love the way that they're very real about life and they don't try to make things all happy and cheery all the time. And I love Lauren Graham.

Wednesdays--We watch The Middle on ABC. As imdb.com describes it, it's about "the daily mishaps of a harried woman and her semi-dysfunctional family and their attempts to survive life in general in the city of Orson, Indiana. If you're a mother, it will speak to you. Seriously. It's hysterical. Patricia Heaton (Ray's wife from Everybody Love Raymond) plays the mom, Frankie Heck. Neil Flynn (the Janitor from Scrubs) plays the dad, Mike Heck. Their kids names? Axl, Sue and Brick. Seriously.

Those are the newest shows we love. Other faves you should check out would be Big Bang Theory on CBS Thursdays, Pawn Stars and American Pickers on History, and Chopped on the Food Network.

What are you watching these days?

We're leaving for Christmas in 16 days?!

Where did this year go? I feel like it's flying past me and I'm missing it.

I love Christmas. I love the decorations. I love giving gifts. I love the music, the sights, sounds and smells. I love the reason that we have to celebrate. This year, our church's sermon series for the month of December is "Advent Conspiracy." We're talking about the commercialism of Christmas, the wasted money, and the great need there is in the world. And, of course, we're talking about putting the focus back on Jesus. The next two sermons are "Spend Less" and "Give More." I love it!! I'll admit, it's easy to get caught up in the hype and spend more money than you have to buy gifts, especially if you have kids. But I love the challenge of this sermon series. We're not cutting back nearly as much as I would like to. I'd like to completely skip the presents all together, but no one agrees with me on that. We have done some super sale shopping and are making a few homemade gifts, but that's pretty much the extent of it.

We'll be giving to the church's project this month (and every month), which is to raise money to build wells in Africa. Last year they built four wells, this year we're hoping for more. November's project was collecting food to stock a local food bank. We were the ONLY church contributing to the food bank this year. All three ministers spend an afternoon a week helping out at the Boys & Girls Club. Kraig always comes home with a story about an awesome kid he's working with that is in need. Last week, the kid he worked with has several siblings that are all living with their grandparents because their mother abandoned them. They need winter coats. The grandma actually said, "I hope they don't get name brand coats and think that they'll always have name brand stuff." It's heartbreaking. I'd much rather give up my Christmas presents to help these people. I feel very blessed that we have everything that we need to provide for our family. God always provides!

In the meantime, I wish Kate would take a nap!

The obligatory "I'm thankful for..." post

A few weeks ago, I posted something on facebook about being excited for Thanksgiving. I am excited to get away and spend time with family. Someone who read my status commented something along the lines of "shouldn't we be thankful everyday?" Of course. We should be thankful everyday. It's the same thing people say about Valentine's Day. Shouldn't we show our loved ones how much we love them everyday. Of course. However, setting aside a special day every year to really reflect on what we're thankful for or to give our significant other a special day is not a bad thing. I think it's wonderful. Let's face it, sometimes we're not as thankful as we should be. Sometimes the Thanksgiving holiday serves as a reminder that we need to be more thankful. It's not that we're only thankful on Thanksgiving, it's that we're extra thankful on Thanksgiving. How can you argue with that?

In three hours we're leaving to spend Thanksgiving in Pennsylvania with Kraig's family. We'll all get to be there, which is always great. We've lost several family members in the past year, so I know we'll be extra thankful for the ones we still have. For us, it'll be the two year anniversary of when we told Kraig's family that we were pregnant with Kate. Today is actually two years to the day that I took a pregnancy test and got a positive result. I'm very thankful for that. Kate is pretty awesome. We'll also be thankful that we all get to be together for the holiday. Time together is a precious commodity when everyone lives so far away. We really are thankful for the time together.

My family will be celebrating at my parents' house without us. It will be the second Thanksgiving without my Papa, and his void will still be noticed. They'll all be extra thankful that Mama is still with us. My sister and brother-in-law just bought their first house and I know they're thankful that they are able to have the things that they have.

All in all, it's been a good year. We celebrated Kate's first birthday during which time she got to spend time with two of her great-grandparents that passed away a very short time later. We are thankful that we were able to spend some extra time with them before they were gone. This year our parents, us, and two of our sisters celebrated wedding anniversaries. In the world we live in, we're thankful for loving spouses who have committed to staying with us through thick and thin. I had a cancer scare this year, but I'm healthy now and I am very thankful for that. Kraig and I are thankful for our new ministry in Virginia. We are thankful that the Lord's timing provided us with this opportunity. We're thankful that the Lord has provided plenty for us to be able to afford to live and enjoy life. We're thankful that because he's provided so well for us that we can give to others. How could we not be thankful for everything the Lord has done for us?

I know everyone hasn't had a great year. If I looked back over our year, I could dwell on losing multiple grandparents, at financial difficulties, at horrible times in our previous ministry, at having surgery to remove cancer from my body. There are plenty of bad things that could be remembered, but I'm choosing to dwell on the positives. If you're struggling to find things you're thankful for, look at the bad things that have happened this year. It's often through the rough times that we learn what we truly are thankful for. We lost grandparents, but it makes us treasure the times we had with them and cherish the moments we have with our existing family. We have had our share of financial troubles, but the Lord always provides. We had a bad, bad ministry experience, but God has brought us to a new place where we really feel like we belong. I had cancer, but we found it before it spread and surgery was all the treatment I needed. There is so much to thank God for! I hope everyone has a Happy Thanksgiving!!

Six months

I can't believe we've been in Winchester for six months already. At the same time, I can't believe it's only been six months. We've developed such great friendships and relationships in such a short time, that it's truly unbelievable that it has only been six months (well, 6 1/2 at this point). When we left Ohio, we were more than happy to be leaving the church there. We were broken and burnt out. We were also heartbroken to leave the few good friends we had there. I still have moments when I feel angry about the situation we were in there, but I'm constantly reminded that we would never be where we are now if we had not been there first. God had a plan. And we know how good we have it now. We LOVE our church. Is it perfect? Of course not. It's full of people. But the heart of the people and the purpose of the church is truly to "Love God. Love One Another. Love the World." We couldn't ask for more. We also have a great group of teens who have really accepted us and who are some of the most spiritually mature teens I've ever known. They want to talk to us and spend time with us. I finally feel like a youth minister's wife. And I would say that Kraig finally feels like a youth minister.

In other news, Kate's got her sweatshirt half off. Not sure how that happened.

On the diet front, not much is happening. Between having a lock-in and visitors last weekend and being sick this week, I haven't done much cooking. Never a good thing. I've lost a few pounds this week, but it's only because I've been sick. Next week is Thanksgiving. Not so promising!! And we're having lasagna at life group's tonight. I love food.

Well, today's mission is to catch up on laundry and the washer just kicked off. Time to go!

new post....

coming tomorrow?

(I've been sick twice in the past two weeks. More on that later...)

I promised I would....

So here's the diet update:
-I hate dieting.
-We cheated multiple times this weekend.
-I forgot to weigh myself this morning, but I'm pretty sure I haven't lost anything.
-It's really hard to stay motivated to diet when your husband is constantly trying to convince you to cheat because he's not motivated.
-I bought more diet food in yesterday's grocery trip, so we're on for another week. We'll see how it goes.

In other news....

I'm really struggling to be content right now. I'm struggling with boredom. I'm struggling with whether or not I'm cut out to be a stay-at-home-mom. I'm struggling with the guilt I feel when I even think about sending Kate to daycare. I'm struggling with my desire for things.

I want more money. I want to be able to go out to eat when we want. I want to be able to buy new clothes when I need them. I want to be able to afford to get my hair cut as often as it needs it. I want to be able to afford to spoil my husband and my daughter. But we don't have that kind of money. Our financial situation is better, but it's not overflowing.

I hate housework. I used to love to cook, but it's just a chore now--especially when you're trying to make healthy food. I hate cleaning. I want the house to be clean and neat, but no one else seems to care. Why should I bother?

Call me old-fashioned, but I believe it's my job to take care of Kate and our house and to keep my husband happy. That's how it was in my family growing up, and the thought of being a working mom while my kids are little makes me feel like a bad mom.

Financially, I don't need to work. I shouldn't need money to be happy. But I'm missing something. I need some purpose or something. I thought being more involved with the music at church would help, but I still feel lost.

I'm praying that God will help make an answer clear to us. That a job with ideal circumstances would fall into my lap or that he would help me rekindle my passion for being a SAHM and wife. I'm babysitting a day or two a week now, but it's not much money and it's not my thing. I'll do it for now, but I'm not enjoying it. It's even making me question whether or not I want a second child. I know I want a second, but it just seems like so much work. I feel like all I ever do is work. Even my few minutes away from the house every week is work because I'm grocery shopping. So exciting!

Does anyone else ever feel this way? Is there something I'm missing?

No gray hairs.....yet!

In my last post, I bragged about Kate sitting up the very day after her first physical therapy appointment. That was a Thursday. The following Wednesday, I babysat for the first time. I'm keeping a two-month old two days a week. The first time I sat down to give him a bottle, Kate scooted over to the couch where I was sitting, fussed for ten seconds, then stood right up. Apparently I just needed to have another baby around to make her jealous. She's a pro at standing now. She's cruising like crazy, which is also something she'd never done. She's dangerously close to taking that first step, but she's still insecure about not having something to hold on to. I was planning on canceling her next PT appointment if she started walking before hand. Yesterday I got a letter in the mail informing me that our insurance would not be paying for her therapy, so the next appointment will definitely be canceled. I've yet to see a bill, but I'm sure it won't be pretty!

Kate also learned a new word (or two) this week: cheese puff. It sounds more like "eesuff," but you can definitely tell what she's aiming for. It's too cute!

The great diet of 2010 has commenced today. Usually at least once a year we get on a kick and start something that doesn't last. In early 2008, we each lost a decent amount of weight, but it's managed to find it's way back with some good old stress-eating. My new goal is to lose 20 pounds by Christmas. It's very feasible. I can usually drop at least 6 in the first week, which would give me around 14 to lose in 6 1/2 weeks. I'm very hopeful! I did a massive grocery shopping trip yesterday to get us plenty of good eating options. Most of the bad stuff is out of the house. The soda is gone and will not be returning. In all reality, I'd love to lose 40 or 50 pounds, but 20 will be a great start! I'll be posting a weekly update on how the diet's going. Hopefully sharing it with "the world" will help keep me motivated!!

For memory's sake...

I haven't written down everything that Kate's ever done in a little book so we can remember her milestones. I feel guilty about it at times, but my mom never did either! So here's a basic run down for now.

Kate is currently 15 months, 20 days. She's advanced in a lot of areas, slow in others. She knows tons of words, but refuses to use them if you ask her. She's definitely got an ornery streak. She weighed 24 pounds 4 ounces at her 15 month check up and was 31 1/2 inches tall. Those are both around 75th percentile stats. Her head is 19 1/2 inches, which is above the 95th percentile. Big head, big brains.

She's never been fond of being on her belly. From the time she was sitting up on her own, she's scooted everywhere on her butt. That's her primary form of transportation. I'm the secondary. She's never crawled. She never even learned to sit up on her own if she was on her back or belly. Not sure why. Her pediatrician was concerned about that and her lack of walking and sent us to a physical therapist last week. The PT gave us some exercises to help strengthen her leg muscles, teach her to sit up and encourage her to walk. We did the exercises the first night and the next morning. That day, Thursday, I put her down for a nap. Twenty minutes later, she was still talking, so I went to check on her. Lo and behold, she was sitting up! I got so excited (because enthusiastic affirmation is important in PT) that she thought it was a game and refused to fall asleep on her own. Oh my. Sleeping was a challenge for her next nap and that night, but she did manage to catch some zzzzzzz's.

Friday night, we put her down and were amazed that she went to sleep so quickly. Or so we thought. About an hour and twenty minutes after we put her to bed, we heard a crash. Kraig panicked, thinking she'd fallen out of the bed, and took off toward her room. She was still in bed, thankfully, but she was sitting in the corner. She had a book in her hands, her pajamas completely unzipped and a look of terror on her face. We couldn't help but find the situation funny! The rail on the crib had fallen down, which caused the loud noise. The bed skirt was stuck in the locking mechanism, which caused it to fall. After adjusting the rail and putting Kate back to bed, she finally fell asleep around 11 p.m. I'm starting to miss my little lazy baby who never sat up, and, therefore, was a wonderful sleeper.

We're continuing the exercises for standing and walking. She's getting close, but she still needs some assistance to make her feel safe. She's definitely not a daredevil. Thank heavens!

She's hysterical. She knows how to make people laugh and she loves doing it. She can point to her head, nose, eyes, ears, mouth, tongue, teeth, belly button, feet and toes. If you tell her to tickle someone's belly, she goes right for it. She's very good at taking simple directions. She also knows that people think it's funny when she picks her nose. I'm such a proud Momma!

She loves food, though she's not eating much these days because she's teething. In three weeks time she got three top teeth, including a molar. She now has five teeth. Late bloomer. The first two came at ten and eleven months. She's in no hurry for anything. Her current favorite food is bananas. She also loves pizza and has been known to eat at least a piece and a half all by herself.

She loves to play with clothes and try to put them on. She's constantly emptying her clothing drawers and dragging clean clothes around the house. She also loves reading books, stacking things up to knock them down, and she's constantly sorting her toys by color. If she's in the right mood, she can tell you which color is yellow and which is blue. She loves to play with cars and say, "Zzzzzzzzzzz" as she drives them around.

She loves her Daddy. She cries everyday when he leaves for work, and she's ecstatic when he comes home at night.

Perhaps her biggest love right now is music. She loves anything with a good beat so she can dance. Her favorite song? "Baby," by Justin Bieber. Kraig used it for a video at church and she's been obsessed ever since. If she's fussy in the car, all we have to do is put it on and she's happy again....or at least until the last few lines start to play and she realizes the song is about to end. We discovered this (unfortunately) on a recent trip home from Pennsylvania. We may have listened to that song a good twenty times. Needless to say, I hate Justin Bieber. Sorry, folks.

All in all, she's a great kid. The nursery ladies at church can't say enough about what a good baby she is. We love her to pieces. Some of our favorite times lately have been bringing her into our bed in the morning when she gets up and playing with her. There's nothing she loves more than when we're all together. She knows that all is right in the world. I'm glad to know that she feels loved and secure when she's with us. What more could a parent ask for?

I'm Dreaming of a White Christmas...

(Don't know why, but I'm totally in the mood to watch White Christmas. Kraig reminded me that I'm not allowed to watch it until we're decorating for Christmas. Is it too soon?)

I love my husband. He's just an all around great guy. He loves Jesus. He's passionate about his ministry. He's a great father. He's just great. That's just a side note. Not what I intended to blog about today.

Onto other news. God provides. He did it again. Shocked the pants right off me. I'm not going to go into details, but God provided in a big way today. I've been praying for an answer to our financial situation, and today it came. We're going to be okay. I might not get an ulcer worrying about it. Praise the Lord! He has been so good to us, and we never deserve it.

Kraig also got a $50 gift certificate in the mail this week for his birthday. Super excited about using that sometime this weekend!

Our church is having a free yard sale this weekend. We're having it in the most needy neighborhood in town and it's going to be awesome. People have donated so much stuff to go to the sale. We might even have so much we won't be able to give it all away. There's that much. It's unbelievable. The church people have been working hard all week to get the items sorted and ready for tomorrow's giveaway. I'm excited to see God's people at work, meeting the needs of our community tomorrow. What could be better?

Supplementing our income...

Before we even moved to Virginia, I had an expectant mother here ask if I would be interested in watching her baby once she had him and returned to work. I was thrilled at the idea of earning a little extra income, but still staying home with Kate. It's even better because he'll only be with me part time. On the days I don't have him, he gets to stay with his father. I thought it was an excellent situation! I'll still have some free days to do whatever I want. The baby, a boy, was born in August, and I finally get him next week. I'm super excited.

During my quiet time this morning (more on that another day), I prayed that God would help us get through our current financial crisis. When Kraig came home, he told me that someone had called the church asking if I would be interested in taking a second baby. Hmm. Good question. The mother is someone our minister's wife knows. The baby was born premature and the mom must still be on maternity leave. I don't know anymore details than that, though. The extra money would be great, but I'm not sure if I can handle my crazy kid plus two newborns. Sure, I worked in a daycare where I had this situation all the time, but we were well equipped with toys and bouncy seats, etc. I would hate to say yes and then have to back out because it's too much for me. When Kraig left to go back to work, I told him that they could give the lady my info and that I would consider it. I don't know the details. It could be another part time baby. That would be ideal. With Kraig having Monday as a day off, we usually spend that day together as a family, except my hour of grocery shopping. I would hate to "ruin" our family time by having someone else's kid around. I don't know. Lots of pros and cons. Lots to think and pray over.

It may be the best way to stay home with Kate and really afford it. Definitely something to consider.

So much for letting go

If you read the post "Life's finally getting back to normal," you'll read about my struggles to let God control our finances. It's a constant battle I have, that goes back to a rough financial time my parents had when I was about 16. Dad was off work without pay for almost two years, and I thought for sure we were going to starve or lose our house. But we didn't. I'm sure there were bills that got paid late, but somehow money always appeared when we needed it. There was always an unexpected envelope of cash in the mail or bags of groceries left on our porch. It was amazing. You would think after going through that I would be able to just trust Him. I've seen how well He provides with my own eyes. And I've seen it in our own marriage time and time again, when money would arrive or the hospital decides to cover our medical costs. We've been really, really blessed. But I can't let go. Here's yet another reason why....

Earlier this week I "realized" that I forgot to pay a bill last week, so I rushed and paid it. I went to check the bank statement last night, though, and the lovely $110 bill had come out TWICE! Apparently when I checked to see if it was paid, the website just wasn't enough up-to-date to show that the payment was processing at the time. So now we have $220 less in the bank than we thought. So, yes. We may be getting a check in the mail for Kraig's funeral services, but it's not going to be that much. On top of that, I thought we were doing fine and there was plenty of cash in the bank, so I didn't rush yesterday to deposit Kraig's check like I usually do. I waited til after the cut-off, because I knew the funds were there. So that money won't be available until Monday. Lovely. And there's a $22 overdraft fee in my checking account this morning, because naturally everything decided to come out today.

I don't know what it is. I thought I had a good system in place for getting the bills paid and making sure that they really did. Perhaps I analyze and over think the situation so much that I make mistakes like this. Because this isn't the first time. There's just usually plenty of money to cover my stupidity. Our cost of living is higher here, though, and extra money does not abound. I do start babysitting part-time on the 25th, which will be an extra $50 a week (grocery money). And our final payment for Kate's hospital bills is due next month, which will mean an extra $130 that can go elsewhere. Oh yeah...and Kraig's expecting several inheritance checks, but that is a slow process apparently. Once those come, we'll be in the clear for sure, because we'll be able to pay off several bills that eat up a good chunk of our income every month. But until then, we're cutting it close. The anxiety about it eats me up. My stupid mistake made a bad situation worse. Kraig, of course, doesn't get mad at me. I kind of wish he would.

So I was in a terrible mood last night. And it was Kraig's birthday.

Maybe I make it out to be a bigger deal than it really is, but I can't stand it! I feel like we're in limbo. The "fix" is coming, but we have no idea when. Hopefully it'll come before I develop an ulcer!

It's a sweatpants kinda day

(There's nothing to do but laundry today!)

I've recently talked with several people and read several people's blogs about feeling inadequate as a wife, mother, or whatever. I struggle with this on occasion, but not nearly as much as I did when Kate was tiny. I remember constantly thinking that I was a bad mom when she was little. There was always something I wasn't doing quite right. Gradually, you get the hang of things and you assume those feelings should disappear, but they don't. There's always something new that we just don't know how to handle, like teething, illnesses, or night terrors. There's always something.

I feel the same way as a wife sometimes. Just when you think you've figured your husband out, the things that you thought made him happy aren't the same anymore. There's always something.

I'm realizing, however, that these inadequacies are a good thing. Yep. I said it. They're good. It's when we feel like we don't have it all together that we push ourselves to learn new things and become better mothers or wives. Or just a better person, in general. If we had it together all the time, we would never have motivation to improve. If we ate McDonald's everyday and never gained weight, we'd never have motivation to eat healthier. Same concept. It's normal and good to feel inadequate. As a spouse, it's when you feel inadequate to meet your spouse's needs that you're faced with two options. The first option is to go on pretending that everything is okay, which can be a death sentence to a relationship. The second is to get to know your spouse better. Have an awkward conversation and ask him what you could do to love him better, to serve him better, to encourage him better.

In our "Love at Last Sight" study at church, we've talked about how when relationships get to that awkward stage, they often die. People think good, lasting relationships should come easy and natural. That's not how it works. When we start to assume we know how our spouse will react or what he will want all the time, we start to assume we know everything about him. This is when a relationship can go south, because needs aren't being met. Sometimes, we just have to ask. There's always new things we can learn about our spouses (and vice versa), because we're constantly growing and changing. Can you imagine how boring things could get if they didn't change?

It's the same with being a mother. The things that kept your child happy and well at 9 months won't necessarily work a few months (or even weeks) later. You have to adapt and learn how to meet their needs at each phase.

Don't be discouraged if you're feeling inadequate. Let it be a challenge to you!

Life's finally back to normal....

(...whatever that means!)

We're finally back to a more normal routine. Kraig came home Saturday afternoon. My sister and nieces left Sunday after church. Monday was a normal day off, and we got to enjoy it as a family. We walked through Walmart, got ice cream at Sonic, went to two music stores and chilled around the house together. It was a nice relief from the busy life of the past two weeks. My parents were supposed to come in this weekend, but it looks like my Dad is going to have to work. It's a bummer, but now I don't have to over clean my house. I'll take the rest:)

I met with a new friend on Sunday to chat. We're a lot alike, I think. We're in somewhat similar places in our lives. As we were talking, it was nice to hear her admit that she didn't have it all together either. We talked about the things we're struggling with, and it was nice to have someone be real about things. We're not perfect. My relationship with God isn't where it should be. There's always something more I could be doing. The one thing God has taught me over and over again is that He is our Provider. Do I remember that, though, when there's not enough money for all the bills and we need to tithe? Of course not. This week, I tithed. I thought money was good. Then yesterday, I realized that I forgot to pay a bill last week, so we had $110 less in the bank than I thought. Then Kraig's mom told him he was going to get a check in the mail for doing his grandfather's funeral. Seriously. That's a terrible reason to get money, but it was already set aside in the funeral costs. So, I paid tithes, and we were blessed. I'm not sure why that should be such a surprise, but I need to control our financial situation. I feel like it so quickly can get out of control that I don't let God have what is His or let Him control the situation. Guess He showed me!

Thank you, Lord, for showing me again that You are in control!

Heartburn and hiccups

(I seriously have heartburn and hiccups at the same time. Painful!)

What a busy time the last two weeks have been. We made it home from Pennsylvania on Saturday around dinner time. We ate, unpacked, put in laundry and I went to the grocery store. Kraig's parents were already scheduled to be on vacation this week. Knowing they would never get any real rest if they stayed home, I told them they were welcome to spend a few days with us. They got to town about 7 p.m. on Sunday. So after church Sunday, we put the house back in order and got ready for company.

Kraig and our involvement minister were scheduled to be in Atlanta from Wednesday through Saturday this week, so he worked on Monday to help get caught up from missing last week. After work, we got to go to dinner by ourselves! It was nice. We were so tired that we were barely able to make decent conversation, but the food was good. And Kraig opened my car door for me when we were headed home. I was shocked, but it made me feel good. Sometimes it's just nice to get a little extra attention--especially when there's not a baby around stealing the attention from you!

Tuesday we hosted life groups. We ate dinner together (our group, Kraig's parents, and our involvement minister) and then the group headed to the basement for our study time. It was nice to be able to totally focus on the study and not pay attention to Kate. We always have a good time, though:)

Kraig headed out Wednesday morning, and I convinced Kraig's parents to stay so that I wouldn't have to sleep in the house by myself Wednesday night. We headed to Ichiban for lunch, but they were closed. We ended up at Red Lobster, and it was fantastic! When we got home, we all took a nap, then I headed to praise team practice. They enjoyed the extra time with Kate, of course. She was in no mood to sleep last night, though. She kept looking for Kraig. The first word out of her mouth this morning was "daddy." She obviously knows he's gone, and she seems concerned.

Today, Kraig's parents headed out about 10 a.m. After Kate's morning nap, we ate lunch and headed to run errands. We ran to the church, the bank, and the grocery store. She was great and never fussed about being in the car. Once we got home and put away the groceries, I finally got around to hanging a few things on our bedroom walls. I was hoping to have that done before my sister came to visit, and I just might get it done! My sister, Abby, and my twin nieces are headed this way this evening. They'll probably get here close to midnight, and they'll stay until sometime Sunday. I can't wait!! We're planning to go pick pumpkins, play at the park, have a slumber party, watch Beauty and the Beast and do each other's makeup. Plus, I want to show Abby around town some. She'll love the historic areas. Who knows what else we'll get into. Kraig will be home Saturday evening, and I'll be glad to have him back!

Perhaps my next blog will be more philosophical and full of wisdom. This one, however, is not!

The Whole Darn Thing

(The Whole Darn Thing is our favorite sandwich shop in Kraig's hometown. We ate there for lunch!)

We packed up yesterday and headed to Pennsylvania. Kraig's grandfather hadn't been doing well. They released him from the hospital to a nursing home on Friday, and he ended up back in the hospital Saturday morning. Things weren't looking good. His blood pressure was really low. His heart rate was really erratic. They called Kraig's mom about 10 p.m. Sunday night and said they thought his time was drawing near. So all of Grandpa's kids that live in PA spent the night at the hospital watching the stats rise and fall. Around 1:30 p.m. on Monday, Grandpa Hays finally went to be with the Lord. I didn't know him well, but he was definitely a well-loved man. He was a fixture in his community for years. He owned multiple businesses. He owned and ran the local funeral home. He worked for the city government at some point. Everyone knew him. He had a wife, who passed away when Kraig was in 5th grade. He had two sons, two daughters, ten grandkids, and one beautiful great-granddaughter (Kate, of course!). He lived a long life, but it's always hard to lose someone you loved. The family seems to be doing pretty well. Some people are still travelling to get here, though. It'll be the first time we've all been together since I joined the family.

Kraig and I have lost 6 grandparents since we've been together. Five in the last year and a half. It's hard to believe. Every funeral is just a reminder of the others we've lost. We haven't had time to get over the loss of one person without losing another. Crazy. We miss our grandparents. We're sad that Kate won't have memories of them like we do. We're glad that some of them got to meet her, though.

It's sad, but it's also a nice time to get to spend time with the family that you don't see often enough. After my grandma died, my mom made a remark that she thought funerals, weddings and births were God's way of getting us all together again. And when you live far away from your family, that's pretty much the truth. It's the best time we get to spend with our family--especially because it's an unexpected thing that doesn't require using up a bunch of vacation days. It's sad, and it's a blessing.

We'll mourn our loss, but we'll enjoy the time we get to spend together.

Kraig will be performing the funeral service, so say a prayer for him. Pray that he'll find the words to say and that he'll be able to hold himself together to get through the service. Please pray for everyone travelling right now, too. We have family coming in from Florida, North Carolina, Tennessee, Kentucky....and the Virginians are already here:)

Calendar

(I have the hardest time coming up with titles. Today I chose an inanimate object that I happened to have in my line of vision.)

Yesterday was the beginning of fall. It was over 90 degrees in Winchester yesterday. I was sitting in the living room looking out the front window, though, and I could see leaves slowly drifting to the ground. I love the way they fall. Back and forth. It looked like fall yesterday. It made me a little sad that fall is already here. As part of our Life Group study, we've talked about how much time we waste on stupid things when we could be spending that time with the people that matter to us. And we waste plenty of time. It's time that we'll never be able to get back. Every minute is pushing us closer and closer to our end. So why do we waste it like it's an indispensable resource?

I love being in the ministry. I love where we are. I love our church. I love the new friends that we have. We have some really, really good friends here. But I hate being away from my family. All this time we spend away from them is moments we can never get back. That makes me sad. I know we are where God wants us. I know He has made Kraig and I strong people that can handle being away from our family so much. But it's still hard when I think about it like that. It's so hard to have your entire relationship basically over the phone. Time and money prevents us all from travelling to see each other as often as we would like. That's life. October will be a good month, though.

The first weekend of October, Kraig's parents have asked to visit. The second weekend of the month (Thursday-Sunday) my sister and my beautiful nieces will be coming to stay with me. The third weekend of October, my Mom and Dad are coming out for the weekend. I'm excited. My parents helped us move in, but they were here with us for less than 24 hours before they had to head home. This time, they'll be able to really see our home all put together, to see our town, and to visit our church. My sister has not been here at all yet, so it'll be all new to her. I can't wait!

I talked to a good friend from our previous church yesterday. We have not really had the chance to have a decent conversation in like four months, so it was wonderful to catch up with her. She has a little girl that's just a few weeks older than Kate, and we got to enjoy being pregnant at the same time. It was great to have someone going through it "with" you. There were things we could talk about and share that I wouldn't dream of talking about with anyone else. And now that we're both mommies, we're so busy! Talking to her, though, made me miss her so much. It made me miss all of my close friends from when we lived there. We desperately needed out of the situation we were in there, but you can't help but feel like you're abandoning your friends when you leave. It's hard!

I feel blessed that I have such a wonderful family and such great friends that I miss them that much. I know plenty of people who don't have the kind of relationships I have, and I feel truly sad for them. I'm just praying that I can be the kind of daughter, sister, aunt, wife, mother, niece, granddaughter and friend that makes people miss me the way I miss them!

I hate missing church!

(It's nice to feel that way!)

Kate and I stayed home from church yesterday. I wasn't sure if I should take her or not, so we decided to play it safe. She woke up around 9 a.m. yesterday with no fever. Praise the Lord! She ate a small breakfast and actually got down on the floor and played with some toys. Definitely a change. She even napped well. I ended up taking her to the teen life groups time last night, and she did great. She still has a little cough and some congestion, but the worst is over. She went to bed at a normal hour last night and didn't get up til 9:30. It was awesome. Kraig, however, is sick and didn't sleep much at all last night. I'm still hoping I can stay healthy. My throat has felt a little sore the past couple days, but that's about it. I so hated missing church, though!

Teen life groups are going great! We're averaging at least 25 kids every week. It's a time for them to go a little deeper, and it's wonderful that so many of them are choosing to show up. After the hour of study is over, we have a game/hang-out time and it's always a lot of fun. I finally feel like the kids enjoy when I'm around. At our previous ministry, I could barely get the high school kids to even look at me. I love feeling like I can actually be a part of Kraig's ministry here. It feels great! We have a great group of teens. The Sunday morning teen service, Awaken, is also going very well. We're getting new visitors every week, and a good portion of the visitors are returning. You can't beat that! Kraig is doing an awesome job with the teens, and God is really blessing his ministry here.

We're having Chinese stir-fry for dinner tonight. I'm gonna go hunt the web for a recipe for the ginger salad dressing they use at Japanese restaurants. I want some!!

Is it really still Saturday?

(It's been a lonnnnnnnnng few days.)

Kate is sick. Like the first real sick that she's been where she was old enough to understand what was going on. The first real sick that has kept her up at night. And she's a beast. She woke up early Thursday morning, just after midnight, completely congested and miserable. I didn't see it coming, and it's been a roller coaster since then. She's slept about half of her normal amount. And I've slept even less, of course. The first night, she would only sleep on my chest while I was sitting up. Not the best position for me to try to catch any sleep, but it seemed to work for her. She slept a little more last night. We slept together in our spare bed, and she insisted on having her head in my armpit most of the night. She seems to be in a little better spirits today, and she's taken two decent naps in her crib. We'll see how the night goes. It was nearly 1 a.m. before she fell asleep last night. She still has a fever. So no church for us tomorrow unless a miraculous healing takes place overnight. This was supposed to be my first week playing with the praise team. Guess I'll live. ;)

"Love at Last Sight" challenge is going well, I think. I've actually read the book like you're supposed to, so that's a step in the right direction. I'm going to hate to miss tomorrow's sermon. Guess I'll listen to it online on Monday. Glad that's an option!

No news on Kraig's grandpa. I guess no news is good news for now.

In other news, Kraig thinks he's getting sick. Oh joy.

Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious

(And now that song will be stuck in my head!)

Tuesdays are always great days. I love our Life Group. We were at our house last night for chicken alfredo with broccoli, homemade garlic rolls, and homemade apple cobbler with ice cream. Yum! We are blessed to have made such great friends so quickly in Virginia. It's mostly because of our Life Group. We love them! It's only us and one other couple right now, so it's prime for getting to know each other. We always have a great time! We started our new study last night. It's the "Love at Last Sight Challenge." You can check it out at www.lastsightchallenge.com. The sermon series that corresponds started on Sunday, as well. We had a great first night. It's all about improving our relationships with the people that matter in our lives. I'm really excited to see how our relationships can improve if we really commit to the challenge. So far, I'm loving it.

We could also use your prayers right now. Kraig's grandfather (his last remaining grandparent) is not doing well. He's been sick off and on for a long time, but he's back in the hospital again. Things aren't really improving this time, and it's looking like he won't be able to be released unless he's going to a nursing home. He's basically alive because he's doing dialysis at least three times a week, which is very difficult on him at his age. He's very discouraged. He's thinking about stopping dialysis, but he's concerned that if he does it will be like committing suicide. And he wants to go to heaven. Pray for him. For his peace and comfort. For him to not suffer. Pray for the family. This will is especially difficult on Kraig's mom. I know the whole family is losing a lot of sleep. It's just so sad. Prayers are always appreciated!

On another note, I love my husband:)

Fall? Is that you?

(The weather is amazing!)

Kate's in her crib "napping," Kraig's at a football game, and here I sit. Slow week in the world of blogging. Well, my blog anyhow.

We've had a good week, though. Not too much to do. Kraig took half of Thursday off to watch Kate while I went to a doctor's appointment. He had today off to make up for Monday. Long weekend for us!! My doctor's appointment was good. It was the first one with my new endocrinologist. He was awesome! My biggest complaint about my previous endo was that I felt like I didn't know what was going on most of the time. The new doctor, however, was VERY thorough with his explanations, which I greatly appreciate. It's essential when you're dealing with something like cancer that you know what's going on. He ran some blood work and scheduled me for an ultrasound on my neck next week. As long as everything looks good, I won't have to see him for another six months. Praise the Lord!! Now I'm just praying everything comes back fine. I'm feeling fine, so I wouldn't expect anything unusual.

Our new sermon series and life group study starts Sunday. It's called "Love at Last Sight." I'm very excited to get to read the book and study it in multiple ways and see what impact it has on our congregation and in my life. It looks like a great series.

In other news, I can't wait til Kraig gets home from the football game. I'm lonely!

Wednesday already?

We had a beautiful weekend! The weather was almost perfect. We got up Saturday morning and went to a local farm market. I had a coupon:) We bought squash, zucchini, peaches and a jar of local honey. Because of the coupon, we also got a 1/2 peck of apples for free. We live in apple country, but I had yet to taste anything local. I got a few recommendations for the kid working the counter and filled a bag with multiple varieties. It was a nice way to spend a little time on Saturday morning. The peaches and apples have been great! Squash and zucchini have yet to be eaten. As we were leaving the market, I received a text message that basically said, "You two need to get out of bed and go outside! It's a beautiful day!" As much as I wished we were still in bed, I was glad we were able to enjoy the beautiful morning. It felt like fall.

After lunch, two friends and I went geocaching. If you don't know what it is, you should find someone who does. It was a blast. We were at it for almost 5 hours before we realized what time it was. We went to dinner at a Chinese place in town where I had never eaten, and it was great. We ordered an appetizer and two entrees to share and still had leftovers. One of the entrees we tried was a red curry. It was quite possibly the hottest thing I have ever eaten. After dinner, we went back to B's house for a movie and ice cream. I didn't get home until after 11 p.m. It's always nice to have a day out, and I'm so thankful that Kraig was willing to be home with Kate all day by himself.

Sunday was the kick-off of the new teen service, Awaken. We're outgrowing our building, so the teens meet in a modular that was previously used by a school for classroom space. We're outgrowing the modular, as well. We have Awaken during the 8:15 and 11:15 services. Between the two we had 37 people this week. It was great! Lots of new faces and lots of enthusiasm. The Lord is moving! All-in-all, Sunday was a great day for the teen ministry.

Monday, which is Kraig's normal day off, we slept til noon....well, kinda. Kate woke up with what we think was a night terror about 12:30 Monday morning. She was screaming hysterically for probably close to a half hour. We tried everything we could to calm her down, but it was like she wasn't really there. Like she was still asleep. Finally, she started to calm down (and wake up). I decided to lay down with her in the spare room, and she was calm and asleep almost immediately. I, however, was not. It was to the point that had the screaming gone on much longer, I was ready to take her to the hospital. It was absolutely terrifying. She was up before her normal wake up time Monday morning, so I fed her and let her play. She was ready for a nap about 10 a.m., at which time I also passed out. Kraig was still sleeping and we all three slept until noon, when Kate woke from her nap. We stayed around the house and did a few things here, but basically relaxed and enjoyed what was left of the day.

After doing some research later on, I'm almost positive Kate was having a night terror. Now we're just hoping she doesn't have anymore!

Happy Wednesday, everyone! The week's already half over:)

Happy Labor Day!

Happy Labor Day!

Where did my motivation go?

I feel exhausted today! No motivation to do anything. It's pizza night at our house (homemade, of course), but I just don't feel like taking the time to make a good, yeasty pizza crust. A few weeks ago we used French bread for the crusts, because I was feeling lazy. Today I googled "no yeast pizza crust," and I'm going to try out the first recipe that popped up. It suggests making smaller pizzas, so I'm thinking two with pepperoni and onion, one that's just cheese and the last one with a cilantro pesto sauce. I'm obsessed with cilantro, but I still haven't tried to make pesto or anything with it yet. We'll see how it goes! I've heard pesto freezes well.

On the music ministry front, I'm feeling discouraged. I was super excited to get involved, but now I feel like Satan is trying to attack. Perhaps I should feel honored that Satan wants to keep me out of it. We'll see what happens. I'm (once again) praying for guidance.

Kate is growing like a weed. She made me some fridge art yesterday. I've had crayons for her to use forever, but yesterday was the first attempt. She did well:)

Kraig is doing well. Getting ready for the unveiling of the new teen service worship model. We're expecting a big turn out on Sunday and everyone is excited! Can't wait to see how the Lord moves!

Weekend plans? Family night tonight!! I'm thinking we might curl up on the couch and watch a movie. I'm hanging out with a couple girlfriends tomorrow sometime. Church Sunday morning. Teen Life Group kick-off Sunday night. Nothing on Monday. I love lazy weekends!

Taco Chicken Recipe

I promised the Taco Chicken recipe yesterday, and here it is. I wish I had taken a pic of the finished product, but we ate it. Yum. It's a recipe that you can adjust as you wish, but here's the basics of what I did.

Taco Chicken
Chicken pieces (bone in or boneless)
Water
A jar of salsa
Fresh or canned tomatoes (or Rotel if you like the heat)
Fresh cilantro
Garlic
Salt & Pepper
Cumin

Place the chicken in the crock pot. You can make just a few pieces, or fill the crock pot. Add 2-3 inches of water in the bottom of the crock pot. Peel and chop several cloves of garlic (I used one clove for each breast). Add the garlic to the pot. Add salt and pepper liberally. Add as much cumin as you like. (I used about two teaspoons with two bone-in breasts and one leg quarter). Add the tomatoes or Rotel (I used three Roma tomatoes that I had on hand. I chopped them in half and squeezed them into the crock pot before adding in the rest of the skins). Add about a cup of salsa. Cover and cook on high for 5 or so hours. When the meat easily falls off the bones, you'll know it's done. Remove the meat from the crock pot and let it cool. Once cooled, remove the meat from the bones and shred it as finely as you like. Add the chicken into a large sauce pan with 1 cup of water and the remainder of the salsa. Let it cook down until the water is absorbed and the meat soaks up the salsa. Enjoy! (Sometimes I add a few packs of Taco Bell's mild sauce if I have some on hand.)

Super easy, super flavorful, super cheap.

I went to practice last night. We're learning several new songs in the next 6 weeks, so we practiced for over two hours. I'm still unsure about the whole thing, but I'm going to give it some time.

Kate's asleep. I must shower!

Pictures of the food fest...

So on top of cooking 10 pounds of ground beef, seven pounds of chicken and making homemade chicken stock yesterday, we also hosted our Life Group plus a few for dinner last night. There were 8, including Kate in our tiny "dining room." Made for one long day! Some of the chicken and ground beef went to last night's dinner, but the rest went straight to the freezer:

I'm still trying to figure the whole picture thing out, but here you can see the chicken stock simmering away, the deboned chicken breasts and tenderloins, 1/4th of the ground beef cooking, the crockpot of taco chicken for last night, and the freezer after-the-fact. We ended up with a meal worth of taco meat left, a meal of chicken taco meat left, two meals of chicken breasts and tenderloins that are cleaned and ready to be cooked, one small portion of chicken that came off the bones while making the stock, 10 cups of chicken stock, and four meals worth of ground beef for spaghetti, chili, lasagna, etc. All in all, I think it was worth the time. It's probably only about two weeks worth of meat by itself, but there is still some other meat in the freezer for additional meals. I think once this is gone, I'll actually plan to try to cook like this. It really was kind of spur-of-the-moment, but now I feel very domestic. Chicken stock is always nice to have on hand, and I portioned mine out with 2 cups in each bag. The rest of this week's meals include pork chops, homemade pepperoni pizza, and chili (I'll freeze the leftovers). Next week will require very little purchasing! Just some produce:) I love it! All this meat, plus the whole chicken that was used for another meal and to make the stock only cost about $25. Over 20 pounds of meat! I had never worked with the bone-in chicken breasts before, but I don't think I'll ever go back to boneless, skinless. What a waste of money!! Five ways you can use them?

1. Remove the skin. Run a sharp knife up the edge of the bone and literally pull the breast away from the bone. Remove the rest of the meat that is still on the bone. This is the tenderloin. Use these as you would a normal boneless, skinless breast and tenderloin.
2. Put them in the crockpot with a few inches of water and your favorite seasonings. Cook on high for 5 or 6 hours. Let the chicken cool, then debone and shred it. Use the shredded meat for sandwiches, pizza, taco, casseroles, etc.
3. Mix salt, pepper, rosemary and garlic with melted butter and baste the breast with it. Basting both sides of the chicken, as well as under the skin, will help flavor the entire piece of meat and not just the surface. Place on a baking sheet or rack and roast in the oven at 350 for 40ish minutes, and you'll have delicious, moist meat.
4. Grill with your favorite marinade or BBQ sauce.
5. Put them in a stock pot with onions, carrots, celery and your favorite seasonings (I use salt, pepper, bay leaves, garlic, parsley and rosemary) to make a delicious stock. Once the chicken is done, strain the stock and use it as a base for chicken and noodles or dumplings. Add the chicken back into the pot at the last minute.

Simple ideas, but it's so much less expensive than using a boneless, skinless piece. And, as I've learned this week, it's money-saving to find out what time the manager marks down meats. Be there as close to when this happens, and you can find some great scores!

Tomorrow? The recipe for my Crockpot Taco Chicken. It was delicious! Tonight? My first practice with the NLCC worship band. I'm excited, but nervous. Details tomorrow.

Hurry up...and wait

After a greatly productive morning, here I sit.

What a wonderful weekend we had! Kraig's parents drove in for the weekend and arrived just in time to watch Kate so we could go to a high school football game by ourselves. We saw three of our boys play football and another march with the band. And they won.

Saturday morning, Kraig and I went to participate in our church's monthly outreach. Last month we collected school supplies for the poor school district in town. This month we were able to help glean produce from a couple different farms/orchards for a local organization that helps feed hungry people. Two weeks ago a group picked peaches. Saturday, we picked apples. Approximately 6,000 pounds of apples! It was hard work, but we had a lot of fun. Over 30 people from our congregation were there to serve. Saturday evening, we went to a Japanese hibachi-style restaurant for dinner with Kraig's parents. YUM!

Sunday was Youth Sunday, an it was fantastic! The teens are responsible for every aspect of the service, from leading worship to preaching and serving communion. They did a fantastic job. It was great to see their excitement and passion.

Sunday night, I helped put together set lists for the upcoming month. Then I went to a Mary Kay party with some ladies from church. A college student in our congregation is just starting to sell it, and we were glad we could be there for her first party. Kraig had "Halo" night with a couple guys, so Kate went with me. Lucky for me, Kate won a door prize:) It was a nice evening.

Yesterday I went grocery shopping. I had looked through the ads and noticed the most expensive grocery in town was having a great sale on several meat items. After shopping for the rest of our groceries, I headed over to check out the sale. Not only was there a sale, but I happened to be there just about the time the manager was marking down items. I ended up with 10 pounds of 80/20 ground beef for $1.40/lb. I got 7ish pounds of bone-in, skin-on chicken breasts for $.88/lb. I also ended up with a whole roasting chicken that was on sale for like $.60/lb.

We ate the roasting chicken for dinner last night. It was delicious. I'm always amazed how moist and flavorful you can get them. This morning I got up with the intention dividing up the rest of the meat and freezing it. I read a friend's blog, however, about how she was experimenting with Once A Month Cooking. She had put a ton of cooked, frozen food in her freezer. So I was inspired. I took last night's chicken carcass and made homemade stock. I took 4 of the chicken breasts and de-boned them for later. I have three breasts in the crockpot for tonight's taco meat. I've browned almost 5 pounds of ground beef with onions and garlic. Soon I'll be browning the rest of the ground beef for taco meat for tonight and for the freezer. Once this was done, I realized I'm OUT of freezer bags, so I'm taking a break. I need to get the chicken either in the freezer or cooked and in the freezer, but I haven't decided yet. I can't wait to see it all in the freezer. It's been super easy and I know it will save me a ton of time in the future. I'm hoping to post pictures tomorrow!

It's Life Group night. Rather than the usual 4, however, we'll have 7 tonight! It's a little much for our small dining room, but it's worth it to visit with friends. We're having tacos & fajitas for dinner. Chocolate & peanut butter fondue for dessert! YUM!!

Back to the kitchen!

So hungry!

There's a candle sitting next to me that smells like sugar cookies. It's making my stomach growl.

Short post:

-In-laws are coming tonight. Gotta finish up a few things in the house. Mainly sweeping, mopping and taking out the trash. We're finally decorating and rearranging the spare room, so I'm trying to get that as done as it can be before they arrive.

-Going to a high school football game tonight. Hoping the in-laws arrive in time to keep Kate. We never get out alone.

-Youth Sunday at church. Can't wait!

-I love my husband:)

Back on Monday?

And so it continues...

Last night's meeting was great. It was definite confirmation for me that I need to be serving through music again. The music ministry head, Becky, and I talked for a long time last night (though every time we talk it seems to be long) and I just kind of felt a peace about it. She asked me to play and sing with the 3rd service band--and only for a month at a time. We're starting a new sermon series, we picked out new songs to correlate with the sermons and everyone seems to be excited about the upcoming month. While I was driving home last night I remembered, however, that I've already volunteered to serve somewhere this month. Also, serving during third service means that I would miss our teen service. So I'm conflicted. Kraig's starting new stuff with the teens this month--basically changing the whole format of teen service--and it's going to be awesome. The kick-off is September 5th and the teens are inviting basically everyone they know. God is definitely moving in them. I guess I know that I need to wait to start playing until October, but I don't want to. Now that I'm ready and willing to serve, I don't want to wait another month. Talking to Becky again today, she encouraged me to at least practice with the band for this month just to be with them and get used to playing with a new group. I'm still anxious about stepping out and committing, but I know that's where God wants me. I really, really believe that, and it's a relief! I'm regaining my sense of purpose.

Alright. Back to work.

Life Groups, Playing Peek-a-boo, and Serious Bouts of Indecision

Life Groups
First off, Tuesday night is Life Group night. We headed to the home of our friends for dinner, Bible study, and great conversation. It's always a great time--so great we often find ourselves saying, "we really should get going" about ten times. Most of the groups took the summer off, so we're in between curriculum still. For the last couple weeks, we've been watching NOOMA videos. Last night we watched "Kickball." It was so appropriately timed for our group, I think, as it focuses on how we respond to God when he responds to our wants and desires. We're all wanting something. We talked about our wants, we talked about how God is working in those situations. It was amazing the stories we could share about how God provides and cares for us. He is definitely our Provider. The "want" that I shared (again) is my desire to know where He wants me to serve. I know I want to serve. I know that He knows I want to serve. Why won't He just tell me when and where? Perhaps He has and I'm just not listening. Perhaps He knows that I still need more time to heal. Maybe He just wants me to step out on faith. Oh the numerous scenarios I can imagine. I'm trying to be still and listen. Tonight is the worship team meeting. I'm going. I could use prayers. I'm hoping that God will speak to me through this meeting. In the meantime, my stomach is in knots thinking about it.

Peek-a-boo
Kate loves playing peek-a-boo. She'll use any object to hide her face and then quickly pull it away to see who's looking. This always draws the biggest smiles and giggles. She's awesome.

Serious Bouts of Indecision
Kraig's family is notoriously indecisive. Where do you wanna go eat? I don't know. When should we eat? I don't care. It's crazy. Sad thing is, the longer I've been with this family, the worse my indecision has become. I NEVER used to be like that. I'm a very opinionated person. I have no problem telling you what and when I want to eat. What's happening to me?! Too funny.

Feeling motivated?

In less than five minutes, I've made two doctors appointments and corrected a problem with our old bank account. I am good.

I'm still praying and searching for what God wants me to do, but I'm feeling some motivation. I was asked on Sunday to join the praise teams for a meeting and pizza on Wednesday night. They are going to discuss what's going on with the ministry and work on music ideas for the upcoming sermon series. We don't have a music minister yet, but the person in charge of the music, who happens to be a good friend, has asked for my help. So I started looking through some of my worship related books to see if there might be a good read in there that would be beneficial for her or for the whole team. As I started reading, I started realizing how much I miss music ministry. I miss it. I think I have to be involved in the music. It's my passion. I'm not sure how much I have to offer, but I definitely want to do something. I'm just not sure if I'll be content to just sing or just play or whatever when I feel like I might be able to offer more that would be a help to the ministry. I want to lead. I want to use the training that I have, but I know I have to commit to something smaller than that. It might be one huge lesson in humility. I want to help, but I have this fear that if I get too involved it will hurt Kraig's ministry. I don't want the stability of his job to be effected by whether or not someone likes what I'm doing. I just don't know. I'm going to start by going to this meeting, though. I'll at least get a feel for their hearts and their purpose.

Back to Sunday, though. Kraig preached his first sermon (or first three sermons) at NLCC on Sunday. He did great, as usual. I think he was encouraged by the response the congregation had to his message, and I pray that the message will be taken to heart and put into practice. That sermon and the sermon the previous week are part of why I'm feeling such a need to just commit to something. They were all about serving. And I'm not. I think Wednesday's meeting will be a big step for me, though. I'm just praying that God will show me what he wants in an obvious way.

In other news, Kate is refusing to nap.

Ways to make $525 fast?

Sell your old appliances on Craigslist.

Before this week, I'd never used Craigslist before. It's kind of addicting, though. When we moved to Winchester, we brought all our old appliances with us even though there were already new, working appliances in our house here. It wasn't by choice, but we did. And finally, three months later, we listed them on Craigslist. Stove and fridge went yesterday. Dryer went today. Washer is going tomorrow. Sweet! Wish I had more major things to sell. Cash is fun.

It's been a lazy day, but eye opening. We hit up a few yard sales this morning, and I experienced something I never have before. I jumped out at a sale and left Kraig and the sleeping Kate in the car. There was a toddler bed right out front and I wanted to check it out. An Asian man came out of the house. I smiled and said, "Hi. I'm interested in this bed." He quickly ran off into the garage and came back wielding a cardboard box with several numbers written on it. "No English," he said, but he pointed to "$15" that was written on the box. I explained that I was interested and that I would have to get a truck and come back. "No English," he said. It was nearing lunch time, so I motioned with my hands that we would go eat and then return if we could. "No English," he said again and shook his head. I felt helpless. There was nothing I could do or say to help him understand me. It was almost heartbreaking to me. I was only trying to buy his bed, yet I couldn't communicate with him. What if I was trying to tell him something important? How lonely must it be to live in America and not speak English? I feel lonely sometimes and I DO speak English. I've never had that happen before, and it was rattling. Still has me thinking. It made me feel ineffective.

Lazy Friday. I made chicken parmesan for dinner, but we're hungry again. Kraig's back with Taco Bell. Must go eat. The extra calories are begging for me.

TGIThursday?

It's almost the weekend...

As a minister's wife, I'm used to weird hours and work days. At our previous ministry Kraig got one day off, usually Saturday. Of course, as youth ministry works, there were tons of Saturday events that interfered with this and it usually resulted in no days off. Not full days, anyhow. In this ministry, however, we are blessed with two full days off. And it is EXPECTED that they be taken. If there's an event on Saturday, take a different day. Kraig's normal days off are Saturday and Monday. Makes for a long feeling weekend. There was a blood drive on Monday, however, and Kraig was at the church until nearly 8 p.m., so I'm revelling in the fact that our weekend begins tomorrow instead of Saturday. A super long weekend of Friday, Saturday AND Monday. Lovely! Simple joys. Now if we could just get Kate to sleep until noon...

This Sunday will be Kraig's first opportunity to preach at New Life. I'm so excited! He is a very gifted speaker, and I'm excited to hear his message. This will be a totally new experience for him, however, as he will have to preach in three services in a row. We're still adjusting to having more than one, but it's wonderful to NEED to have multiple services.

My house is clean, my dishes are washed, laundry's running, blog updated. Mission accomplished.

Back at it?

After nearly one year away, I'm attempting to write my second blog. There's been a lot on my mind, and hopefully if I share it will help me and maybe someone else.

First, an update on Kate:
Kate is now 13 months old. Still not walking or crawling, which is an endless cause of concern for me. The doctor was not concerned, but this does not calm my worries. She's a talker. She knows lots of words and she loves to use them. Her current favorite word is "sock." She's a great eater. She's completely bottle weaned. She's very outgoing. She's an entertainer. And I love her more every day. Being a mother truly is a joy. I very much look forward to having our second little one.

Update on us:
We're settled into Winchester. We LOVE it here. Love the house, love the community, love the church. We've made great friends already, which was my biggest concern about moving. It took us a long time to find friends in our previous location. We're involved in a Life Group, which at this point is only us and one other couple, but it is a blessing. They're people we love and that we really can open up to and talk to about the things going on in our lives. Kraig and I are doing great, and we're very excited about our life right now and our future here.

And now the heart of the matter...
I'm feeling very blah right now. I love it here, but I'm starting to feel like I have no purpose. In our previous ministry I was heavily involved in way too many things. I was in charge of the music ministry, I helped wherever Kraig needed me, I was the co-leader of the ladies' group. I was busy all the time. It was a huge mistake. I was so burned and burned out that I'm still not sure what to do. I knew I wanted to take my time getting involved, but how much time? It's been three months. I'm dying to do SOMETHING, but I don't know what. I'm not feeling particularly lead to do anything specific. I know what I want to do, but I'm literally terrified of history repeating itself. My "I-can-fix-that" personality is begging me to "fix" things, but I just don't know. I don't want to jump into something that I will feel like I can't get out of. I don't want to make anyone else involved uncomfortable because they feel that I know more than them. I just don't know.

Kraig and I have talked about it alot and last night I brought it up with our Life Group. I need some direction, some courage and a whole lot of God making it clear to me what HE wants. As Sara put it last night, "Pray for Stacy to get some Ooomph."

It's true. When I'm not serving, I feel far away from God. It hinders my relationship with Him. It keeps me from keeping up my end. I don't feel motivated to be reading the Bible. I pray all the time, but more selfish prayers. Part of me writing about this is me hoping that if someone else knows about it I'll feel more pressure to take action. I'm a mess:) I'm tired of people acting like Christians should be perfect all the time. It's not like that. It's a struggle sometimes. And that's okay. But we need to be honest about things. I'm not fine. I'm struggling. I know I need to take a step of faith, I'm just not sure which direction to go. We'll see. In spite of it, God is good and His mercies are new every morning. And I need them:)