The obligatory "I'm thankful for..." post

A few weeks ago, I posted something on facebook about being excited for Thanksgiving. I am excited to get away and spend time with family. Someone who read my status commented something along the lines of "shouldn't we be thankful everyday?" Of course. We should be thankful everyday. It's the same thing people say about Valentine's Day. Shouldn't we show our loved ones how much we love them everyday. Of course. However, setting aside a special day every year to really reflect on what we're thankful for or to give our significant other a special day is not a bad thing. I think it's wonderful. Let's face it, sometimes we're not as thankful as we should be. Sometimes the Thanksgiving holiday serves as a reminder that we need to be more thankful. It's not that we're only thankful on Thanksgiving, it's that we're extra thankful on Thanksgiving. How can you argue with that?

In three hours we're leaving to spend Thanksgiving in Pennsylvania with Kraig's family. We'll all get to be there, which is always great. We've lost several family members in the past year, so I know we'll be extra thankful for the ones we still have. For us, it'll be the two year anniversary of when we told Kraig's family that we were pregnant with Kate. Today is actually two years to the day that I took a pregnancy test and got a positive result. I'm very thankful for that. Kate is pretty awesome. We'll also be thankful that we all get to be together for the holiday. Time together is a precious commodity when everyone lives so far away. We really are thankful for the time together.

My family will be celebrating at my parents' house without us. It will be the second Thanksgiving without my Papa, and his void will still be noticed. They'll all be extra thankful that Mama is still with us. My sister and brother-in-law just bought their first house and I know they're thankful that they are able to have the things that they have.

All in all, it's been a good year. We celebrated Kate's first birthday during which time she got to spend time with two of her great-grandparents that passed away a very short time later. We are thankful that we were able to spend some extra time with them before they were gone. This year our parents, us, and two of our sisters celebrated wedding anniversaries. In the world we live in, we're thankful for loving spouses who have committed to staying with us through thick and thin. I had a cancer scare this year, but I'm healthy now and I am very thankful for that. Kraig and I are thankful for our new ministry in Virginia. We are thankful that the Lord's timing provided us with this opportunity. We're thankful that the Lord has provided plenty for us to be able to afford to live and enjoy life. We're thankful that because he's provided so well for us that we can give to others. How could we not be thankful for everything the Lord has done for us?

I know everyone hasn't had a great year. If I looked back over our year, I could dwell on losing multiple grandparents, at financial difficulties, at horrible times in our previous ministry, at having surgery to remove cancer from my body. There are plenty of bad things that could be remembered, but I'm choosing to dwell on the positives. If you're struggling to find things you're thankful for, look at the bad things that have happened this year. It's often through the rough times that we learn what we truly are thankful for. We lost grandparents, but it makes us treasure the times we had with them and cherish the moments we have with our existing family. We have had our share of financial troubles, but the Lord always provides. We had a bad, bad ministry experience, but God has brought us to a new place where we really feel like we belong. I had cancer, but we found it before it spread and surgery was all the treatment I needed. There is so much to thank God for! I hope everyone has a Happy Thanksgiving!!

Six months

I can't believe we've been in Winchester for six months already. At the same time, I can't believe it's only been six months. We've developed such great friendships and relationships in such a short time, that it's truly unbelievable that it has only been six months (well, 6 1/2 at this point). When we left Ohio, we were more than happy to be leaving the church there. We were broken and burnt out. We were also heartbroken to leave the few good friends we had there. I still have moments when I feel angry about the situation we were in there, but I'm constantly reminded that we would never be where we are now if we had not been there first. God had a plan. And we know how good we have it now. We LOVE our church. Is it perfect? Of course not. It's full of people. But the heart of the people and the purpose of the church is truly to "Love God. Love One Another. Love the World." We couldn't ask for more. We also have a great group of teens who have really accepted us and who are some of the most spiritually mature teens I've ever known. They want to talk to us and spend time with us. I finally feel like a youth minister's wife. And I would say that Kraig finally feels like a youth minister.

In other news, Kate's got her sweatshirt half off. Not sure how that happened.

On the diet front, not much is happening. Between having a lock-in and visitors last weekend and being sick this week, I haven't done much cooking. Never a good thing. I've lost a few pounds this week, but it's only because I've been sick. Next week is Thanksgiving. Not so promising!! And we're having lasagna at life group's tonight. I love food.

Well, today's mission is to catch up on laundry and the washer just kicked off. Time to go!

new post....

coming tomorrow?

(I've been sick twice in the past two weeks. More on that later...)

I promised I would....

So here's the diet update:
-I hate dieting.
-We cheated multiple times this weekend.
-I forgot to weigh myself this morning, but I'm pretty sure I haven't lost anything.
-It's really hard to stay motivated to diet when your husband is constantly trying to convince you to cheat because he's not motivated.
-I bought more diet food in yesterday's grocery trip, so we're on for another week. We'll see how it goes.

In other news....

I'm really struggling to be content right now. I'm struggling with boredom. I'm struggling with whether or not I'm cut out to be a stay-at-home-mom. I'm struggling with the guilt I feel when I even think about sending Kate to daycare. I'm struggling with my desire for things.

I want more money. I want to be able to go out to eat when we want. I want to be able to buy new clothes when I need them. I want to be able to afford to get my hair cut as often as it needs it. I want to be able to afford to spoil my husband and my daughter. But we don't have that kind of money. Our financial situation is better, but it's not overflowing.

I hate housework. I used to love to cook, but it's just a chore now--especially when you're trying to make healthy food. I hate cleaning. I want the house to be clean and neat, but no one else seems to care. Why should I bother?

Call me old-fashioned, but I believe it's my job to take care of Kate and our house and to keep my husband happy. That's how it was in my family growing up, and the thought of being a working mom while my kids are little makes me feel like a bad mom.

Financially, I don't need to work. I shouldn't need money to be happy. But I'm missing something. I need some purpose or something. I thought being more involved with the music at church would help, but I still feel lost.

I'm praying that God will help make an answer clear to us. That a job with ideal circumstances would fall into my lap or that he would help me rekindle my passion for being a SAHM and wife. I'm babysitting a day or two a week now, but it's not much money and it's not my thing. I'll do it for now, but I'm not enjoying it. It's even making me question whether or not I want a second child. I know I want a second, but it just seems like so much work. I feel like all I ever do is work. Even my few minutes away from the house every week is work because I'm grocery shopping. So exciting!

Does anyone else ever feel this way? Is there something I'm missing?

No gray hairs.....yet!

In my last post, I bragged about Kate sitting up the very day after her first physical therapy appointment. That was a Thursday. The following Wednesday, I babysat for the first time. I'm keeping a two-month old two days a week. The first time I sat down to give him a bottle, Kate scooted over to the couch where I was sitting, fussed for ten seconds, then stood right up. Apparently I just needed to have another baby around to make her jealous. She's a pro at standing now. She's cruising like crazy, which is also something she'd never done. She's dangerously close to taking that first step, but she's still insecure about not having something to hold on to. I was planning on canceling her next PT appointment if she started walking before hand. Yesterday I got a letter in the mail informing me that our insurance would not be paying for her therapy, so the next appointment will definitely be canceled. I've yet to see a bill, but I'm sure it won't be pretty!

Kate also learned a new word (or two) this week: cheese puff. It sounds more like "eesuff," but you can definitely tell what she's aiming for. It's too cute!

The great diet of 2010 has commenced today. Usually at least once a year we get on a kick and start something that doesn't last. In early 2008, we each lost a decent amount of weight, but it's managed to find it's way back with some good old stress-eating. My new goal is to lose 20 pounds by Christmas. It's very feasible. I can usually drop at least 6 in the first week, which would give me around 14 to lose in 6 1/2 weeks. I'm very hopeful! I did a massive grocery shopping trip yesterday to get us plenty of good eating options. Most of the bad stuff is out of the house. The soda is gone and will not be returning. In all reality, I'd love to lose 40 or 50 pounds, but 20 will be a great start! I'll be posting a weekly update on how the diet's going. Hopefully sharing it with "the world" will help keep me motivated!!