Hurry up...and wait

After a greatly productive morning, here I sit.

What a wonderful weekend we had! Kraig's parents drove in for the weekend and arrived just in time to watch Kate so we could go to a high school football game by ourselves. We saw three of our boys play football and another march with the band. And they won.

Saturday morning, Kraig and I went to participate in our church's monthly outreach. Last month we collected school supplies for the poor school district in town. This month we were able to help glean produce from a couple different farms/orchards for a local organization that helps feed hungry people. Two weeks ago a group picked peaches. Saturday, we picked apples. Approximately 6,000 pounds of apples! It was hard work, but we had a lot of fun. Over 30 people from our congregation were there to serve. Saturday evening, we went to a Japanese hibachi-style restaurant for dinner with Kraig's parents. YUM!

Sunday was Youth Sunday, an it was fantastic! The teens are responsible for every aspect of the service, from leading worship to preaching and serving communion. They did a fantastic job. It was great to see their excitement and passion.

Sunday night, I helped put together set lists for the upcoming month. Then I went to a Mary Kay party with some ladies from church. A college student in our congregation is just starting to sell it, and we were glad we could be there for her first party. Kraig had "Halo" night with a couple guys, so Kate went with me. Lucky for me, Kate won a door prize:) It was a nice evening.

Yesterday I went grocery shopping. I had looked through the ads and noticed the most expensive grocery in town was having a great sale on several meat items. After shopping for the rest of our groceries, I headed over to check out the sale. Not only was there a sale, but I happened to be there just about the time the manager was marking down items. I ended up with 10 pounds of 80/20 ground beef for $1.40/lb. I got 7ish pounds of bone-in, skin-on chicken breasts for $.88/lb. I also ended up with a whole roasting chicken that was on sale for like $.60/lb.

We ate the roasting chicken for dinner last night. It was delicious. I'm always amazed how moist and flavorful you can get them. This morning I got up with the intention dividing up the rest of the meat and freezing it. I read a friend's blog, however, about how she was experimenting with Once A Month Cooking. She had put a ton of cooked, frozen food in her freezer. So I was inspired. I took last night's chicken carcass and made homemade stock. I took 4 of the chicken breasts and de-boned them for later. I have three breasts in the crockpot for tonight's taco meat. I've browned almost 5 pounds of ground beef with onions and garlic. Soon I'll be browning the rest of the ground beef for taco meat for tonight and for the freezer. Once this was done, I realized I'm OUT of freezer bags, so I'm taking a break. I need to get the chicken either in the freezer or cooked and in the freezer, but I haven't decided yet. I can't wait to see it all in the freezer. It's been super easy and I know it will save me a ton of time in the future. I'm hoping to post pictures tomorrow!

It's Life Group night. Rather than the usual 4, however, we'll have 7 tonight! It's a little much for our small dining room, but it's worth it to visit with friends. We're having tacos & fajitas for dinner. Chocolate & peanut butter fondue for dessert! YUM!!

Back to the kitchen!

So hungry!

There's a candle sitting next to me that smells like sugar cookies. It's making my stomach growl.

Short post:

-In-laws are coming tonight. Gotta finish up a few things in the house. Mainly sweeping, mopping and taking out the trash. We're finally decorating and rearranging the spare room, so I'm trying to get that as done as it can be before they arrive.

-Going to a high school football game tonight. Hoping the in-laws arrive in time to keep Kate. We never get out alone.

-Youth Sunday at church. Can't wait!

-I love my husband:)

Back on Monday?

And so it continues...

Last night's meeting was great. It was definite confirmation for me that I need to be serving through music again. The music ministry head, Becky, and I talked for a long time last night (though every time we talk it seems to be long) and I just kind of felt a peace about it. She asked me to play and sing with the 3rd service band--and only for a month at a time. We're starting a new sermon series, we picked out new songs to correlate with the sermons and everyone seems to be excited about the upcoming month. While I was driving home last night I remembered, however, that I've already volunteered to serve somewhere this month. Also, serving during third service means that I would miss our teen service. So I'm conflicted. Kraig's starting new stuff with the teens this month--basically changing the whole format of teen service--and it's going to be awesome. The kick-off is September 5th and the teens are inviting basically everyone they know. God is definitely moving in them. I guess I know that I need to wait to start playing until October, but I don't want to. Now that I'm ready and willing to serve, I don't want to wait another month. Talking to Becky again today, she encouraged me to at least practice with the band for this month just to be with them and get used to playing with a new group. I'm still anxious about stepping out and committing, but I know that's where God wants me. I really, really believe that, and it's a relief! I'm regaining my sense of purpose.

Alright. Back to work.

Life Groups, Playing Peek-a-boo, and Serious Bouts of Indecision

Life Groups
First off, Tuesday night is Life Group night. We headed to the home of our friends for dinner, Bible study, and great conversation. It's always a great time--so great we often find ourselves saying, "we really should get going" about ten times. Most of the groups took the summer off, so we're in between curriculum still. For the last couple weeks, we've been watching NOOMA videos. Last night we watched "Kickball." It was so appropriately timed for our group, I think, as it focuses on how we respond to God when he responds to our wants and desires. We're all wanting something. We talked about our wants, we talked about how God is working in those situations. It was amazing the stories we could share about how God provides and cares for us. He is definitely our Provider. The "want" that I shared (again) is my desire to know where He wants me to serve. I know I want to serve. I know that He knows I want to serve. Why won't He just tell me when and where? Perhaps He has and I'm just not listening. Perhaps He knows that I still need more time to heal. Maybe He just wants me to step out on faith. Oh the numerous scenarios I can imagine. I'm trying to be still and listen. Tonight is the worship team meeting. I'm going. I could use prayers. I'm hoping that God will speak to me through this meeting. In the meantime, my stomach is in knots thinking about it.

Peek-a-boo
Kate loves playing peek-a-boo. She'll use any object to hide her face and then quickly pull it away to see who's looking. This always draws the biggest smiles and giggles. She's awesome.

Serious Bouts of Indecision
Kraig's family is notoriously indecisive. Where do you wanna go eat? I don't know. When should we eat? I don't care. It's crazy. Sad thing is, the longer I've been with this family, the worse my indecision has become. I NEVER used to be like that. I'm a very opinionated person. I have no problem telling you what and when I want to eat. What's happening to me?! Too funny.

Feeling motivated?

In less than five minutes, I've made two doctors appointments and corrected a problem with our old bank account. I am good.

I'm still praying and searching for what God wants me to do, but I'm feeling some motivation. I was asked on Sunday to join the praise teams for a meeting and pizza on Wednesday night. They are going to discuss what's going on with the ministry and work on music ideas for the upcoming sermon series. We don't have a music minister yet, but the person in charge of the music, who happens to be a good friend, has asked for my help. So I started looking through some of my worship related books to see if there might be a good read in there that would be beneficial for her or for the whole team. As I started reading, I started realizing how much I miss music ministry. I miss it. I think I have to be involved in the music. It's my passion. I'm not sure how much I have to offer, but I definitely want to do something. I'm just not sure if I'll be content to just sing or just play or whatever when I feel like I might be able to offer more that would be a help to the ministry. I want to lead. I want to use the training that I have, but I know I have to commit to something smaller than that. It might be one huge lesson in humility. I want to help, but I have this fear that if I get too involved it will hurt Kraig's ministry. I don't want the stability of his job to be effected by whether or not someone likes what I'm doing. I just don't know. I'm going to start by going to this meeting, though. I'll at least get a feel for their hearts and their purpose.

Back to Sunday, though. Kraig preached his first sermon (or first three sermons) at NLCC on Sunday. He did great, as usual. I think he was encouraged by the response the congregation had to his message, and I pray that the message will be taken to heart and put into practice. That sermon and the sermon the previous week are part of why I'm feeling such a need to just commit to something. They were all about serving. And I'm not. I think Wednesday's meeting will be a big step for me, though. I'm just praying that God will show me what he wants in an obvious way.

In other news, Kate is refusing to nap.

Ways to make $525 fast?

Sell your old appliances on Craigslist.

Before this week, I'd never used Craigslist before. It's kind of addicting, though. When we moved to Winchester, we brought all our old appliances with us even though there were already new, working appliances in our house here. It wasn't by choice, but we did. And finally, three months later, we listed them on Craigslist. Stove and fridge went yesterday. Dryer went today. Washer is going tomorrow. Sweet! Wish I had more major things to sell. Cash is fun.

It's been a lazy day, but eye opening. We hit up a few yard sales this morning, and I experienced something I never have before. I jumped out at a sale and left Kraig and the sleeping Kate in the car. There was a toddler bed right out front and I wanted to check it out. An Asian man came out of the house. I smiled and said, "Hi. I'm interested in this bed." He quickly ran off into the garage and came back wielding a cardboard box with several numbers written on it. "No English," he said, but he pointed to "$15" that was written on the box. I explained that I was interested and that I would have to get a truck and come back. "No English," he said. It was nearing lunch time, so I motioned with my hands that we would go eat and then return if we could. "No English," he said again and shook his head. I felt helpless. There was nothing I could do or say to help him understand me. It was almost heartbreaking to me. I was only trying to buy his bed, yet I couldn't communicate with him. What if I was trying to tell him something important? How lonely must it be to live in America and not speak English? I feel lonely sometimes and I DO speak English. I've never had that happen before, and it was rattling. Still has me thinking. It made me feel ineffective.

Lazy Friday. I made chicken parmesan for dinner, but we're hungry again. Kraig's back with Taco Bell. Must go eat. The extra calories are begging for me.

TGIThursday?

It's almost the weekend...

As a minister's wife, I'm used to weird hours and work days. At our previous ministry Kraig got one day off, usually Saturday. Of course, as youth ministry works, there were tons of Saturday events that interfered with this and it usually resulted in no days off. Not full days, anyhow. In this ministry, however, we are blessed with two full days off. And it is EXPECTED that they be taken. If there's an event on Saturday, take a different day. Kraig's normal days off are Saturday and Monday. Makes for a long feeling weekend. There was a blood drive on Monday, however, and Kraig was at the church until nearly 8 p.m., so I'm revelling in the fact that our weekend begins tomorrow instead of Saturday. A super long weekend of Friday, Saturday AND Monday. Lovely! Simple joys. Now if we could just get Kate to sleep until noon...

This Sunday will be Kraig's first opportunity to preach at New Life. I'm so excited! He is a very gifted speaker, and I'm excited to hear his message. This will be a totally new experience for him, however, as he will have to preach in three services in a row. We're still adjusting to having more than one, but it's wonderful to NEED to have multiple services.

My house is clean, my dishes are washed, laundry's running, blog updated. Mission accomplished.

Back at it?

After nearly one year away, I'm attempting to write my second blog. There's been a lot on my mind, and hopefully if I share it will help me and maybe someone else.

First, an update on Kate:
Kate is now 13 months old. Still not walking or crawling, which is an endless cause of concern for me. The doctor was not concerned, but this does not calm my worries. She's a talker. She knows lots of words and she loves to use them. Her current favorite word is "sock." She's a great eater. She's completely bottle weaned. She's very outgoing. She's an entertainer. And I love her more every day. Being a mother truly is a joy. I very much look forward to having our second little one.

Update on us:
We're settled into Winchester. We LOVE it here. Love the house, love the community, love the church. We've made great friends already, which was my biggest concern about moving. It took us a long time to find friends in our previous location. We're involved in a Life Group, which at this point is only us and one other couple, but it is a blessing. They're people we love and that we really can open up to and talk to about the things going on in our lives. Kraig and I are doing great, and we're very excited about our life right now and our future here.

And now the heart of the matter...
I'm feeling very blah right now. I love it here, but I'm starting to feel like I have no purpose. In our previous ministry I was heavily involved in way too many things. I was in charge of the music ministry, I helped wherever Kraig needed me, I was the co-leader of the ladies' group. I was busy all the time. It was a huge mistake. I was so burned and burned out that I'm still not sure what to do. I knew I wanted to take my time getting involved, but how much time? It's been three months. I'm dying to do SOMETHING, but I don't know what. I'm not feeling particularly lead to do anything specific. I know what I want to do, but I'm literally terrified of history repeating itself. My "I-can-fix-that" personality is begging me to "fix" things, but I just don't know. I don't want to jump into something that I will feel like I can't get out of. I don't want to make anyone else involved uncomfortable because they feel that I know more than them. I just don't know.

Kraig and I have talked about it alot and last night I brought it up with our Life Group. I need some direction, some courage and a whole lot of God making it clear to me what HE wants. As Sara put it last night, "Pray for Stacy to get some Ooomph."

It's true. When I'm not serving, I feel far away from God. It hinders my relationship with Him. It keeps me from keeping up my end. I don't feel motivated to be reading the Bible. I pray all the time, but more selfish prayers. Part of me writing about this is me hoping that if someone else knows about it I'll feel more pressure to take action. I'm a mess:) I'm tired of people acting like Christians should be perfect all the time. It's not like that. It's a struggle sometimes. And that's okay. But we need to be honest about things. I'm not fine. I'm struggling. I know I need to take a step of faith, I'm just not sure which direction to go. We'll see. In spite of it, God is good and His mercies are new every morning. And I need them:)