For memory's sake...

I haven't written down everything that Kate's ever done in a little book so we can remember her milestones. I feel guilty about it at times, but my mom never did either! So here's a basic run down for now.

Kate is currently 15 months, 20 days. She's advanced in a lot of areas, slow in others. She knows tons of words, but refuses to use them if you ask her. She's definitely got an ornery streak. She weighed 24 pounds 4 ounces at her 15 month check up and was 31 1/2 inches tall. Those are both around 75th percentile stats. Her head is 19 1/2 inches, which is above the 95th percentile. Big head, big brains.

She's never been fond of being on her belly. From the time she was sitting up on her own, she's scooted everywhere on her butt. That's her primary form of transportation. I'm the secondary. She's never crawled. She never even learned to sit up on her own if she was on her back or belly. Not sure why. Her pediatrician was concerned about that and her lack of walking and sent us to a physical therapist last week. The PT gave us some exercises to help strengthen her leg muscles, teach her to sit up and encourage her to walk. We did the exercises the first night and the next morning. That day, Thursday, I put her down for a nap. Twenty minutes later, she was still talking, so I went to check on her. Lo and behold, she was sitting up! I got so excited (because enthusiastic affirmation is important in PT) that she thought it was a game and refused to fall asleep on her own. Oh my. Sleeping was a challenge for her next nap and that night, but she did manage to catch some zzzzzzz's.

Friday night, we put her down and were amazed that she went to sleep so quickly. Or so we thought. About an hour and twenty minutes after we put her to bed, we heard a crash. Kraig panicked, thinking she'd fallen out of the bed, and took off toward her room. She was still in bed, thankfully, but she was sitting in the corner. She had a book in her hands, her pajamas completely unzipped and a look of terror on her face. We couldn't help but find the situation funny! The rail on the crib had fallen down, which caused the loud noise. The bed skirt was stuck in the locking mechanism, which caused it to fall. After adjusting the rail and putting Kate back to bed, she finally fell asleep around 11 p.m. I'm starting to miss my little lazy baby who never sat up, and, therefore, was a wonderful sleeper.

We're continuing the exercises for standing and walking. She's getting close, but she still needs some assistance to make her feel safe. She's definitely not a daredevil. Thank heavens!

She's hysterical. She knows how to make people laugh and she loves doing it. She can point to her head, nose, eyes, ears, mouth, tongue, teeth, belly button, feet and toes. If you tell her to tickle someone's belly, she goes right for it. She's very good at taking simple directions. She also knows that people think it's funny when she picks her nose. I'm such a proud Momma!

She loves food, though she's not eating much these days because she's teething. In three weeks time she got three top teeth, including a molar. She now has five teeth. Late bloomer. The first two came at ten and eleven months. She's in no hurry for anything. Her current favorite food is bananas. She also loves pizza and has been known to eat at least a piece and a half all by herself.

She loves to play with clothes and try to put them on. She's constantly emptying her clothing drawers and dragging clean clothes around the house. She also loves reading books, stacking things up to knock them down, and she's constantly sorting her toys by color. If she's in the right mood, she can tell you which color is yellow and which is blue. She loves to play with cars and say, "Zzzzzzzzzzz" as she drives them around.

She loves her Daddy. She cries everyday when he leaves for work, and she's ecstatic when he comes home at night.

Perhaps her biggest love right now is music. She loves anything with a good beat so she can dance. Her favorite song? "Baby," by Justin Bieber. Kraig used it for a video at church and she's been obsessed ever since. If she's fussy in the car, all we have to do is put it on and she's happy again....or at least until the last few lines start to play and she realizes the song is about to end. We discovered this (unfortunately) on a recent trip home from Pennsylvania. We may have listened to that song a good twenty times. Needless to say, I hate Justin Bieber. Sorry, folks.

All in all, she's a great kid. The nursery ladies at church can't say enough about what a good baby she is. We love her to pieces. Some of our favorite times lately have been bringing her into our bed in the morning when she gets up and playing with her. There's nothing she loves more than when we're all together. She knows that all is right in the world. I'm glad to know that she feels loved and secure when she's with us. What more could a parent ask for?

I'm Dreaming of a White Christmas...

(Don't know why, but I'm totally in the mood to watch White Christmas. Kraig reminded me that I'm not allowed to watch it until we're decorating for Christmas. Is it too soon?)

I love my husband. He's just an all around great guy. He loves Jesus. He's passionate about his ministry. He's a great father. He's just great. That's just a side note. Not what I intended to blog about today.

Onto other news. God provides. He did it again. Shocked the pants right off me. I'm not going to go into details, but God provided in a big way today. I've been praying for an answer to our financial situation, and today it came. We're going to be okay. I might not get an ulcer worrying about it. Praise the Lord! He has been so good to us, and we never deserve it.

Kraig also got a $50 gift certificate in the mail this week for his birthday. Super excited about using that sometime this weekend!

Our church is having a free yard sale this weekend. We're having it in the most needy neighborhood in town and it's going to be awesome. People have donated so much stuff to go to the sale. We might even have so much we won't be able to give it all away. There's that much. It's unbelievable. The church people have been working hard all week to get the items sorted and ready for tomorrow's giveaway. I'm excited to see God's people at work, meeting the needs of our community tomorrow. What could be better?

Supplementing our income...

Before we even moved to Virginia, I had an expectant mother here ask if I would be interested in watching her baby once she had him and returned to work. I was thrilled at the idea of earning a little extra income, but still staying home with Kate. It's even better because he'll only be with me part time. On the days I don't have him, he gets to stay with his father. I thought it was an excellent situation! I'll still have some free days to do whatever I want. The baby, a boy, was born in August, and I finally get him next week. I'm super excited.

During my quiet time this morning (more on that another day), I prayed that God would help us get through our current financial crisis. When Kraig came home, he told me that someone had called the church asking if I would be interested in taking a second baby. Hmm. Good question. The mother is someone our minister's wife knows. The baby was born premature and the mom must still be on maternity leave. I don't know anymore details than that, though. The extra money would be great, but I'm not sure if I can handle my crazy kid plus two newborns. Sure, I worked in a daycare where I had this situation all the time, but we were well equipped with toys and bouncy seats, etc. I would hate to say yes and then have to back out because it's too much for me. When Kraig left to go back to work, I told him that they could give the lady my info and that I would consider it. I don't know the details. It could be another part time baby. That would be ideal. With Kraig having Monday as a day off, we usually spend that day together as a family, except my hour of grocery shopping. I would hate to "ruin" our family time by having someone else's kid around. I don't know. Lots of pros and cons. Lots to think and pray over.

It may be the best way to stay home with Kate and really afford it. Definitely something to consider.

So much for letting go

If you read the post "Life's finally getting back to normal," you'll read about my struggles to let God control our finances. It's a constant battle I have, that goes back to a rough financial time my parents had when I was about 16. Dad was off work without pay for almost two years, and I thought for sure we were going to starve or lose our house. But we didn't. I'm sure there were bills that got paid late, but somehow money always appeared when we needed it. There was always an unexpected envelope of cash in the mail or bags of groceries left on our porch. It was amazing. You would think after going through that I would be able to just trust Him. I've seen how well He provides with my own eyes. And I've seen it in our own marriage time and time again, when money would arrive or the hospital decides to cover our medical costs. We've been really, really blessed. But I can't let go. Here's yet another reason why....

Earlier this week I "realized" that I forgot to pay a bill last week, so I rushed and paid it. I went to check the bank statement last night, though, and the lovely $110 bill had come out TWICE! Apparently when I checked to see if it was paid, the website just wasn't enough up-to-date to show that the payment was processing at the time. So now we have $220 less in the bank than we thought. So, yes. We may be getting a check in the mail for Kraig's funeral services, but it's not going to be that much. On top of that, I thought we were doing fine and there was plenty of cash in the bank, so I didn't rush yesterday to deposit Kraig's check like I usually do. I waited til after the cut-off, because I knew the funds were there. So that money won't be available until Monday. Lovely. And there's a $22 overdraft fee in my checking account this morning, because naturally everything decided to come out today.

I don't know what it is. I thought I had a good system in place for getting the bills paid and making sure that they really did. Perhaps I analyze and over think the situation so much that I make mistakes like this. Because this isn't the first time. There's just usually plenty of money to cover my stupidity. Our cost of living is higher here, though, and extra money does not abound. I do start babysitting part-time on the 25th, which will be an extra $50 a week (grocery money). And our final payment for Kate's hospital bills is due next month, which will mean an extra $130 that can go elsewhere. Oh yeah...and Kraig's expecting several inheritance checks, but that is a slow process apparently. Once those come, we'll be in the clear for sure, because we'll be able to pay off several bills that eat up a good chunk of our income every month. But until then, we're cutting it close. The anxiety about it eats me up. My stupid mistake made a bad situation worse. Kraig, of course, doesn't get mad at me. I kind of wish he would.

So I was in a terrible mood last night. And it was Kraig's birthday.

Maybe I make it out to be a bigger deal than it really is, but I can't stand it! I feel like we're in limbo. The "fix" is coming, but we have no idea when. Hopefully it'll come before I develop an ulcer!

It's a sweatpants kinda day

(There's nothing to do but laundry today!)

I've recently talked with several people and read several people's blogs about feeling inadequate as a wife, mother, or whatever. I struggle with this on occasion, but not nearly as much as I did when Kate was tiny. I remember constantly thinking that I was a bad mom when she was little. There was always something I wasn't doing quite right. Gradually, you get the hang of things and you assume those feelings should disappear, but they don't. There's always something new that we just don't know how to handle, like teething, illnesses, or night terrors. There's always something.

I feel the same way as a wife sometimes. Just when you think you've figured your husband out, the things that you thought made him happy aren't the same anymore. There's always something.

I'm realizing, however, that these inadequacies are a good thing. Yep. I said it. They're good. It's when we feel like we don't have it all together that we push ourselves to learn new things and become better mothers or wives. Or just a better person, in general. If we had it together all the time, we would never have motivation to improve. If we ate McDonald's everyday and never gained weight, we'd never have motivation to eat healthier. Same concept. It's normal and good to feel inadequate. As a spouse, it's when you feel inadequate to meet your spouse's needs that you're faced with two options. The first option is to go on pretending that everything is okay, which can be a death sentence to a relationship. The second is to get to know your spouse better. Have an awkward conversation and ask him what you could do to love him better, to serve him better, to encourage him better.

In our "Love at Last Sight" study at church, we've talked about how when relationships get to that awkward stage, they often die. People think good, lasting relationships should come easy and natural. That's not how it works. When we start to assume we know how our spouse will react or what he will want all the time, we start to assume we know everything about him. This is when a relationship can go south, because needs aren't being met. Sometimes, we just have to ask. There's always new things we can learn about our spouses (and vice versa), because we're constantly growing and changing. Can you imagine how boring things could get if they didn't change?

It's the same with being a mother. The things that kept your child happy and well at 9 months won't necessarily work a few months (or even weeks) later. You have to adapt and learn how to meet their needs at each phase.

Don't be discouraged if you're feeling inadequate. Let it be a challenge to you!

Life's finally back to normal....

(...whatever that means!)

We're finally back to a more normal routine. Kraig came home Saturday afternoon. My sister and nieces left Sunday after church. Monday was a normal day off, and we got to enjoy it as a family. We walked through Walmart, got ice cream at Sonic, went to two music stores and chilled around the house together. It was a nice relief from the busy life of the past two weeks. My parents were supposed to come in this weekend, but it looks like my Dad is going to have to work. It's a bummer, but now I don't have to over clean my house. I'll take the rest:)

I met with a new friend on Sunday to chat. We're a lot alike, I think. We're in somewhat similar places in our lives. As we were talking, it was nice to hear her admit that she didn't have it all together either. We talked about the things we're struggling with, and it was nice to have someone be real about things. We're not perfect. My relationship with God isn't where it should be. There's always something more I could be doing. The one thing God has taught me over and over again is that He is our Provider. Do I remember that, though, when there's not enough money for all the bills and we need to tithe? Of course not. This week, I tithed. I thought money was good. Then yesterday, I realized that I forgot to pay a bill last week, so we had $110 less in the bank than I thought. Then Kraig's mom told him he was going to get a check in the mail for doing his grandfather's funeral. Seriously. That's a terrible reason to get money, but it was already set aside in the funeral costs. So, I paid tithes, and we were blessed. I'm not sure why that should be such a surprise, but I need to control our financial situation. I feel like it so quickly can get out of control that I don't let God have what is His or let Him control the situation. Guess He showed me!

Thank you, Lord, for showing me again that You are in control!

Heartburn and hiccups

(I seriously have heartburn and hiccups at the same time. Painful!)

What a busy time the last two weeks have been. We made it home from Pennsylvania on Saturday around dinner time. We ate, unpacked, put in laundry and I went to the grocery store. Kraig's parents were already scheduled to be on vacation this week. Knowing they would never get any real rest if they stayed home, I told them they were welcome to spend a few days with us. They got to town about 7 p.m. on Sunday. So after church Sunday, we put the house back in order and got ready for company.

Kraig and our involvement minister were scheduled to be in Atlanta from Wednesday through Saturday this week, so he worked on Monday to help get caught up from missing last week. After work, we got to go to dinner by ourselves! It was nice. We were so tired that we were barely able to make decent conversation, but the food was good. And Kraig opened my car door for me when we were headed home. I was shocked, but it made me feel good. Sometimes it's just nice to get a little extra attention--especially when there's not a baby around stealing the attention from you!

Tuesday we hosted life groups. We ate dinner together (our group, Kraig's parents, and our involvement minister) and then the group headed to the basement for our study time. It was nice to be able to totally focus on the study and not pay attention to Kate. We always have a good time, though:)

Kraig headed out Wednesday morning, and I convinced Kraig's parents to stay so that I wouldn't have to sleep in the house by myself Wednesday night. We headed to Ichiban for lunch, but they were closed. We ended up at Red Lobster, and it was fantastic! When we got home, we all took a nap, then I headed to praise team practice. They enjoyed the extra time with Kate, of course. She was in no mood to sleep last night, though. She kept looking for Kraig. The first word out of her mouth this morning was "daddy." She obviously knows he's gone, and she seems concerned.

Today, Kraig's parents headed out about 10 a.m. After Kate's morning nap, we ate lunch and headed to run errands. We ran to the church, the bank, and the grocery store. She was great and never fussed about being in the car. Once we got home and put away the groceries, I finally got around to hanging a few things on our bedroom walls. I was hoping to have that done before my sister came to visit, and I just might get it done! My sister, Abby, and my twin nieces are headed this way this evening. They'll probably get here close to midnight, and they'll stay until sometime Sunday. I can't wait!! We're planning to go pick pumpkins, play at the park, have a slumber party, watch Beauty and the Beast and do each other's makeup. Plus, I want to show Abby around town some. She'll love the historic areas. Who knows what else we'll get into. Kraig will be home Saturday evening, and I'll be glad to have him back!

Perhaps my next blog will be more philosophical and full of wisdom. This one, however, is not!